Hope you chuckle once or twice : )
Employment resume bloopers:
"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
"I am loyal to my employer at all costs. . . . Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
"Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse."
"Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail."
"HIGLHLIGLHTS OF QUALIFICASIONS"
"I never take anything for granite."
"Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
Medical Transcription bloopers:
She is a normally white female.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
This is a woman who is having severe sharp pain in her rectum when she has a bowel movement of two days duration.
This 46-year-old black woman is seen here for recurrent sick as hell anemia.
She woke up from bed and complains of leg pain in the left arm.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
She has no rigors or chills but her husband says she was very hot in bed last night.
Special thanks to Wendy Schmoll for helping me with a few of the bloopers!
Hugs & Nightmares,