Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Typo Tuesday's

Warning: Put down all beverages until finished reading. Not responcible for spewed liquids while laughing : )

I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.
He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better.
The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
The patient refused an autopsy.
Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.
The bugs that grew out of her urine were cultured in the Casualty and are not available. I WILL FIND THEM!!!
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Hugs & Nightmares,
Savannah Rayne


  1. LMAO...This whole thing is great, but those newspaper clippings just crack me the heck up......Used Tombstone....OMG, that was the best!!!

    Thanks for the giggles.

    Big Hugs~

  2. Oh, my! Working in the health care field and seeing so many doctors this was a hoot! Thanks, Savannah!!!!